Kay Kay

Thanks for the crit. I will post more soon.

I enjoyed it!!! Can't wait to read more. I didn't see any useless information. Hope i helped.

There isn't much left to crit but here's what I have to say. You seem to be rushing through this passage to get everything out. Take a deep breath and ...

You went from first to second point of view?? Wow that's hard to do. I liked this better than chapter one. It's even more interesting. I can't wait to read ...

Love it. I can't wait to read more.

I enjoyed it. You should write more.

I read most of it and liked what I read so far. I got to the end of chapter two and promise I will read that when i find time. ...

I'm into The Legend of Zelda and know all about the games but am left confused after reading this. Maybe it's just me because I'm tired but I just don't ...

I liked it and hope there is more. My advice to you is to add more detail.

I love the update and what I've just read. The girl is very cute sounding and the mother is interesting. I kind of got lost somewhere between being in the ...

This was interesting to read. I'm not usually into reading stuff like this but I'm willing to give it a shot. Can't wait to read more.

It went too fast without any real detail. If it weren't going so fast it would have been interesting but then it just ended. I'm thinking what? It sounds like ...

Creepy! It's interesting but it needs a bit more detail. Can't wait to read more.

*Screams* Oh my god I love it. I wish there was more. I think that was the perfect ending. I can't to read something else of yours.

What an attention grabber. The title and then the first few paragraphs of it. Wow. I really loved it and hope there will be more like it to read. True ...